How to Spend Less Without Making Life Miserable

With so many pressures on our finances right now, maybe it’s time for a lot of us to buckle down a little.

Not panic.

Not stop living.

Not sit in the dark eating beans straight from the can because electricity costs money.

Just pay more attention to where the money is going.

When people hear the word frugal, they sometimes picture someone hoarding paperclips, washing a Ziploc bag until it disintegrates, and refusing to go anywhere because leaving the house might involve spending $3.

That’s not how I see it.

Frugality isn’t about making your life smaller or more miserable. It’s about looking at the money you worked hard for and saying:

I’d like to keep as much of this as reasonably possible, thank you very much.

And when groceries, utilities, insurance, heating, gas and seemingly everything else want a bigger piece of the household budget, being deliberate about your spending can give you some much-needed breathing room.

So let’s talk about spending less without making ourselves miserable in the process.

Stop Chasing Shiny Things

We live in a world absolutely determined to sell us stuff.

Apparently there is a product for every inconvenience, a subscription for every interest and an organizing container for every object we already own.

Before you buy something, stop.

Do I actually need it?

Do I already own something that will do the job?

Can I fix what I have?

Can I borrow it?

Can I buy it used?

Can I improvise something?

Or did I spend eleven minutes watching videos online and somehow become convinced that my life cannot continue without a countertop gadget I’ve successfully lived without for 63 years?

It happens.

Frugality isn’t about never buying anything. I buy things.

But I want the things I buy to earn their place in my house and my budget.

Shop Your Own Damn House First

Before you go looking for a bargain, look around.

What’s in the pantry?

What’s hiding in the freezer?

What toiletries are already in the bathroom cabinet?

What cleaning supplies are under the sink?

What’s sitting in a closet because you forgot you owned it?

Sometimes the cheapest place to shop is your own house.

Dinner around here doesn’t always begin with What do I feel like eating tonight?

Quite often it begins with:

What do we have, and what needs to be used?

And you know what?

Dinner still happens.

This is also how a refrigerator full of slightly questionable apples becomes apple crisp.

Nobody complains about apple crisp.

Prepare for Exhausted You

Seriously.

Do not build a frugal plan that requires you to be energetic, organized and enthusiastic 365 days a year.

You will fail.

Not because you’re bad at frugality.

Because you’re a human being.

We are primarily an ingredients household. I cook most of our meals, and cooking from what we have is one of the biggest ways I control our grocery spending.

But if Mr. Frugalist and I have spent all morning hauling and stacking wood, I can assure you that neither one of us is skipping merrily into the kitchen at five o’clock saying:

What a delightful evening to prepare a complicated meal from scratch!

No.

We’re tired.

We’re hungry.

And that’s when takeout starts whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

So I prepare for it.

I freeze leftovers. Over time, we end up with a collection of meals in the freezer, and people can pick something and heat it up.

I keep an extra loaf of bread in the freezer. Bread plus cheese plus a can of tomato soup? Dinner.

Chicken nuggets and fries? Dinner.

Eggs and toast? Dinner.

A frozen pizza bought on sale? Dinner.

Leftover soup? Dinner.

There are nights when the goal is not to create a culinary masterpiece.

The goal is:

Feed the masses with as little effort as you can manage.

Convenience food isn’t automatically the enemy of a frugal kitchen. Sometimes a $7 easy meal in the freezer prevents a $45 takeout order.

That’s money well spent.

A good frugal plan needs to work on your worst Tuesday, not just your best Sunday.

Find the Free—and Use What You’re Already Paying For

You do not have to spend money every time you want to enjoy yourself.

Go to the library.

Take a walk.

Invite somebody over for coffee.

Play cards.

Watch a movie.

Work on the hobby you already bought all those supplies for. Yes, I’m looking at you and the yarn stash.

But also look at what you’re already paying for.

Are you paying for a streaming service you barely use while subscribing to another one because there’s one show you want to watch?

Does your library offer ebooks, audiobooks, movies, museum passes or other services?

Does your insurance, credit card, warehouse membership, phone plan or other membership include benefits you’re not using?

Before you spend more, ask:

Have I already paid for something that will do this?

Sometimes frugality isn’t finding something cheaper.

Sometimes it’s realizing you already own the damn thing.

Make Saving Money a Game

I actually enjoy this part.

How long can I stay out of the grocery store?

What can I make from what’s already here?

Can I repair this instead of replacing it?

Can I find it secondhand?

Can I make dinner without going to the store for that one ingredient?

How little can we spend this week without making everyone in the house revolt?

There’s satisfaction in figuring it out.

I love looking at something I’ve repaired, grown, cooked, thrifted, substituted or otherwise MacGyvered into submission and thinking:

Well, look at that. I didn’t have to spend $75 after all.

That’s a win.

Take the win.

Don’t Confuse Frugal With Cheap

This matters.

Cheap and frugal are not the same thing.

If the $12 shoes fall apart in three months while the $40 pair lasts three years, the $12 shoes weren’t necessarily the better deal.

And if you don’t need new shoes at all, neither pair is a bargain.

Sometimes I spend more for quality.

Sometimes I buy used.

Sometimes I repair what I own.

Sometimes I wait for a sale.

And sometimes I decide I don’t need the thing at all.

Frugality isn’t about paying the lowest possible price.

It’s about getting good value from the money you choose to spend.

Get Comfortable Being a Little Different

People may think some of the things you do are odd.

Fine.

Hang your laundry.

Mend the sweater.

Bring your lunch.

Grow the zucchini.

Buy somebody else’s perfectly good coat.

Make your own bread.

Drive the older car.

Turn down the heat and put on a sweater.

Tell somebody, “Nope, that’s not in the budget right now.”

You are the one who has to live with your finances.

There is no prize at the end of the month for appearing wealthier than you are.

And I have yet to meet the bill collector who accepts “But everyone thought I was doing really well!” as payment.

Learn From Other Frugal People

Nobody knows everything.

I still learn new tricks from other people all the time.

Join a Buy Nothing group. Visit thrift stores. Learn some basic repairs. Swap ideas with friends. Borrow books from the library. Follow people who actually practice frugal living rather than people who want to sell you 47 products to achieve a simpler lifestyle.

And pay attention to older people.

Somebody’s grandmother has probably been doing today’s hottest “money-saving hack” since 1957.

Before buying the product that’s supposed to solve your problem, it’s sometimes worth asking:

How did people do this before somebody invented something to sell us?

You may discover that the answer is surprisingly simple.

And For Heaven’s Sake, Don’t Forget the Joy

This might be the most important part.

If your version of frugality makes every day feel like punishment, you’re doing it wrong.

Life is happening while we’re trying to save money.

Laugh at the ridiculous thing your child says.

Stand there for a minute and marvel at the butterfly that landed in the garden.

Eat the apple crisp you threw together because the refrigerator was full of questionable apples—and really taste it.

Drink your coffee while it’s hot.

Turn up the music.

Sit by the fire you worked so damn hard to bring the wood in for.

Have friends over.

Make the birthday cake.

Use the good dishes.

Enjoy what you’ve grown, cooked, fixed, made and saved for.

Not everything worthwhile comes with a receipt.

And one of the reasons I live frugally in the first place is that I don’t want spending money to be the thing that determines whether I’m having a good life.

There is joy everywhere if you remember to notice it.

Spend Less. Live Well.

When money gets tight, it’s easy to approach every financial decision as another thing you’re being forced to give up.

I don’t see frugality that way.

Frugality gives me choices.

Every dollar I don’t waste is available for something that matters more.

Every meal I make from what we have stretches the grocery budget.

Every repair postpones a replacement.

Every unnecessary expense I eliminate gives the budget a little more breathing room.

Every thing I preserve, freeze, grow or put away today may make life easier for me later.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire life by Tuesday.

Pick one thing.

Use what you have.

Skip one unnecessary purchase.

Freeze tonight’s leftovers.

Check the thrift store first.

Cancel something you’re paying for but don’t use.

Learn to repair something.

Put an easy dinner in the freezer for the day when you are completely done with everybody’s shit and nobody is getting a home-cooked four-course meal.

Then do another thing.

And another.

That’s frugal living.

Not deprivation.

Not perfection.

Not spending your entire existence worrying about seventeen cents.

It’s deciding that your money has a job to do—and you’re going to make damn sure it does it.

Then make yourself a cup of coffee, grab a piece of that apple crisp, and sit down for a minute.

Have joy in your doing.